Learning how to ask for help

Asking for help is garbage. It is the literal worst because A. I am an adult and B. I should be able to do things on my own and the fact that I can’t makes me want to scream and sink into the deepest pits of despair.

Because I am an adult and that is what adults do. Duh.

I can analyze and cross-analyse why I feel this way, but I think the easiest and probably most ludicrous way I can explain it is through the game Catan. The point of Catan is to build colonies on a plot of land along with other players who you can trade with and steal from and such in the hopes of winning the game. But when I play I always try to create a self-sufficient colony that doesn’t need outside help. We make do and survive off our own means. And yes: I almost always lose. Because in life, much like in Catan, you need to work with others to achieve your goals.

If I’m being honest this desire to be independent stems from a deep-seated fear that I am not enough. That I’m not smart enough, healthy enough, interesting enough, and not good enough. And by needing help I am proving to myself that I am not able to solve my problems from whatever I have within myself which to me constitutes as a failure.

Now, I am aware this is not true, and I acknowledge that having the privileged to ask for help is indeed a privilege that not everyone has access to and that I should be grateful and thankful to have the connections I do and the opportunities I do. But getting over this feeling of inadequacy takes time and it is incredibly frustrating.

I have always craved the acceptance and affirmation from other people. Especially when I was younger I would find myself looking to others to validate personal things in my life. And then I moved. I moved so far away from home and i was hard and I just started getting so worked up over not knowing how to do everyday things. Like guys, why did I never learn how to work with the CRA or banks in school? Where was the course where you are taught how to adult?! This sudden change made my desire to be capable and successful on my own flourish: a modern day Michelangelo if you will.

The best part about this weird thing I do is that if it’s about someone else I am a champion of seeking and getting the help you need. I am a strong believer in getting the help you need especially with mental health. But I am more patient and loving towards others than I am towards myself, and that is something I am working on. Alas it seems my hamartia is my pride.

Paradigm shifts take time: growing, learning, and healing take time. And getting the help you need is a gift that I am learning to embrace.

With all my love as always,

Lea

3 Annoying Habits to Adopt

I’m the first to admit that I am very lazy when it comes to keeping my room clean. I never used to think much about it either: so what, it’s just a room does it really matter how clean it is? I thought that until one day a friend of mine told me that the state of one’s room is a direct reflection of the state of one’s mind meaning messy room= messy mind. This may sound a little hooey, but when I have a cleaner room I feel more relaxed and at ease while when my room is a disaster I get irritated and annoyed very easily. Whether or not these feelings are in my head I think it is definitely prudent to adopt a few cleaning habits to help with everyday life. At least these have been helping me so maybe they’ll help you.

  1. Put your clothes away every night

I’m not joking. Those socks you just took off and have lying on the floor? Put them in the laundry hamper you animal. It’s so annoying putting away your clothes after a long day of work, but the next morning when you wake up and your jeans are folded and there’s no laundry lying about on the floor trust me you’ll feel so much better.

2.  Put your beauty products away in their homes when you’re finished with them

Whether you keep your stuff in a bag or laid out in a drawer, make sure that there’s a place for everything and that everything goes into its place. Your bathroom will look cleaner, you won’t run the risk of knocking something  onto the floor, and you’ll be able to find everything the next time you want it because it will be in its home. Honestly it’s a win-win.

3. Make your bed 

I have actually talked about this before, but making your bed in the morning just makes your room feel cleaner and more organized. And who doesn’t love coming home to a bed that is made and not a huge mess? I’m a pretty volatile sleeper and I toss and turn all night so rearranging my sheets so that they look fresh makes a huge difference in my room. 

With all of these little habits the theme is that if things are organized and tidy you will be less stressed out not only trying to find what you need, but also you’ll feel more at ease in your own space. I used to be one of those people who claimed that in my mess there was order, but it was a lie: I just made my mess messier hunting for my things. I have a bad memory so if things are where they usually are I won’t feel as panicked trying to find them. Obviously these won’t work for everyone nor do I think this will ultimately cure anyone of stress or anxiety, but they helped me calm down a bit so if they help anyone else find some zen then that’s awesome. 
Much love, pumpkins!

Lea

Exploring the world of Crystal Hills

I think there is something to be said about the healing powers of the earth. To be honest I am a firm believer in the idea that if you put energy into something you’ll get energy back. In the Renaissance and even more recently before modern medicine, healers believed if your mind was happy and at ease your body would too. I think that oils, aromatherapy and crystals have some serious merit when it comes to calming and cleansing your mind. So when Crystal Hills reached out to me about reviewing their products I was thrilled to try them out.

Crystal Hills blends oils, herbs, and crystals together to not only help sooth you, but to also help moisturize your skin. I tried their Crystal Dreams and their Crystal Harmony body serums over the course of about a month and a bit and I have to say I have never felt so pampered. I used Crystal Dreams, which is blended to help you relax for sleep more easily, at night before bed massaging it into my hands and arms, and I used Crystal Harmony, which is blended to help you find balance, in the morning to help me get my head straight before headed to work. Both serums smell amazing and don’t leave your skin oily, but feeling and smelling amazing. I personally would recommend both, if not Crystal Dreams more. I love anything that helps me unwind at night.

Crystal Hills’ farm and manufacturing center is located here in British Columbia out in the Okanagan and they boast a long list of impressive feats. They are certified organic/sustainably farmed or produced, vegan, cruelty free, and made with no preservatives. The company is also focused on minimizing their carbon footprint and they are striving towards a more sustainable future which I love.

I definitely recommend them, their products are absolutely lovely, and they have way more than just body serums! Check out Crystal Hill  for yourselves and let me know what you think!

Love,

Lea

How I fixed my skin

Hey there friends! Today I thought we would talk about skin. For a long time I have struggled with my skin, but not necessarily in the conventional ways. I never had acne, I never had oily skin, nor have I had overly dry skin: what I do have is sensitive skin that is prone to rashes, and small under the skin bumps that aren’t quite pimples. So sure, I never had “bad” skin, but the skin I have has given me my own set of annoyances. But after high school most of my skin bumps seemed to sort themselves out. Unfortunately on break during university when I would go home, my skin would break out in rashes. It happened for a few years and were endlessly frustrating, but I found my cure (thank you hydro-cortisone) and moved on. More recently I stopped taking birth control because the progestins and the hormones really were not right for me (this is a long story, I tried countless different forms which either resulted in manic behavior or very depressed behavior). Ultimately it was clear it wasn’t for me so I stopped, but what I wasn’t expecting was for how it would affect my skin! Out of nowhere I started breaking out and having uneven skin tones, like super blotchy cheeks and like pimples. I mean, COME ON! I’m in my twenties, I’m not some puberty newbie, why me world why me! I had to figure out something to do to fix my skin because wallowing in my sadness wasn’t getting me anywhere. So after many trials and errors I finally have my routine that works perfectly for me.

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I try to wash my face morning and night with Just Natural Skincare’s acne soap. But I also try to give my face a day off from everything: washing, makeup, everything. So once a week I just don’t wash my face, I might add moisturizer, but I have found it’s been good to give my skin a break every now and then. Anyway, on a face washing day after I use a toner to help remove any left over dirt, right now I’m using Clinic’s classic purple toner because I had it on hand, but I am on the market for a new toner. In the morning my next step is to use Ole Henriksen’s Vitamin C Serum followed by Caudalie’s Premier Cru eye cream to try to tame my puffy eyes. Finally every morning I put on a moisterizer with SPF in it, right now I’m using one by Clinic which is nice, but again I am on the market to try something with more protection.

At night after toning I used Ole Henriksen’s Invigorating Night Treatment followed by Caudalie’s eye cream and topped off with Ole Henriksen’s Sheer Transformation cream. (Pro tip: get the Sephora 3 little wonders bundle to try the three Ole Henriksen products I use, it’s pretty affordable and an easy way to try them.) Finally if my skin feels dry, it is almost winter after all, I throw on a little of Josie Maran’s Argan oil.

This has been working really well for me right now, but it’s also important to know that your skin changes with you and that what works one year might not work the next. Listen to skin! And drink more water!

What are you using that you love? Let me know!

Love,

Lea

The truth about detoxing

Recently I was approached by a company that wanted me to review one of their detoxing teas which is essentially a tea blend that claims to clean your body. Now, let’s have a little chat about what that really means: the trendy version of detoxing these days is a day time tea blend containing herbs that suppress your appetite and nighttime tea blends that are based mainly on senna. If you aren’t familiar with senna it is one of the most powerful, if not the most powerful, natural laxative. For those of you lucky enough to not know what a laxative is or have never experienced one let me just tell you it’s quite extreme. It essentially flushes out your intestinal track. To do that to your body either every night or every other night would be devastating to your system. It also would yield short term results and cause possible long term medical issues (i.e. not being able to use your bowels properly from a reliance on senna which would be awful, or worse developing a form of IBS). Basically using these magic 14, 24, 30, etc day long cleanses, who use already fit and skinny models to promote their products, you won’t get lasting debloating and weight loss results. If you want to lose weight and feel less bloated then you need to change your lifestyle, and you can’t expect results over a short period of time. If you want to feel more regular and are searching for ways to kick start you on this journey to feeling like a temple then keep reading. These are a few things that I do as my own natural form of detoxing and keeping my body feeling energized and awesome.

  1. Lemon Juice


Every morning I start my day off with have a lemon squeezed into a cup of hot water. I have seriously noticed how this simple task really energizes me and it really gets my system awake. When you first break your fast from sleeping it can be hard for your body to absorb water right away, so if you start with lemon juice the sugars will be more easily absorbed and then any water drunk after will also actually be used to help hydrate you.

2.  Kale

Kale is great. It is packed with vitamins AND is great if you’re feeling blocked. Healthy colon, healthy life. So maybe this is cheating, but I often blend my kale because eating it raw is a little tough. For me I blend it with apples, spinach, avocado, pinapple and coconut water. It’s great and creamy, and I find that kale is a natural way to keep you moving and grooving.

3. Sweat

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You wanna know a great way to detox? Sweat. Go for a run or a walk or dance or anything that gets you dripping. It will give you a glow, push toxins out of your pores, and help keep you regular.

Your body is a magical thing and will take care of its own detoxing. Your guts know what they are doing, but if you feel stuck or want to feel more like a goddess than try these tips. The best way to really feel your best is honestly to just take care of yourself, sleep regularly, drink lots of water, and eat your vegetables. Gosh I sound like my parents.

Let me know if you have any different tips for detoxing in the comments!

Lea