Feeling at home

In an unforeseen chain of events I have fallen in love with a city that I can barely afford. Vancouver is expensive… I mean, that’s a pretty obvious statement for anyone living in Canada, but it is still I remain. There is something about Vancouver that pulls me in and fills me sense of belonging. Maybe it’s the kombucha talking or maybe there’s something in the air, but I have never felt like I was home as much as I do now. Obviously I feel at home when I’m with my family, but that sensation was not tied geographically to any one place like it does now.

A couple weeks ago my mom asked if I ever thought about moving back to Ontario to save some money to go on adventures overseas and such. And honestly as much as I would love to fill the coffers I don’t feel like I need to go somewhere else for an adventure because I feel like I am living my adventure. Everyday feels different and exciting, and even on my worst days there’s something about seeing mountains and sitting by the ocean that comforts me.

The distance from my family is tough: it’s always going to be tough, but it’s worth it and I know I can make it work. There is so much potential for change and for myself in this city, I feel it everywhere. I have met some of the most inspiring and knowledgable people while I’ve been here that have opened my heart and my mind to my own prejudices and ignorance, and have since helped me become better mindfully but socially. There are triumphs and tribulations in every city and by no means do I wear rose coloured glasses: there’s A LOT that needs to change and even more that needs to be better in Vancouver, but the people I have met have given me hope that these changes can and will occur.

I guess what I’m saying is that I have a big old crush on this city and if any of you want to come visit I will talk your ear off as to why. Cue that song from Disney’s Hercules: I’ve found the place where I belong.

Much love as always,

Lea

Checking In

New posts two weeks in a row? Who am I?! Shockingly that is not a rhetorical question because I really do not have an answer to that. Like, yeah okay, I know I’m Leandra, but that is pretty much it. So how do I resolve this personal crisis? The only way I know how: trying a bunch of new things to see what sticks.

I have a pretty terrible fear of messing up and of not succeeding, and while they are perfectly valid and reasonable fears, they really do limit me and my ability to grow. A friend of mine told me that the only way to get over that was to make as many mistakes as I can, to get my feet wet and try a variety of activities because I won’t know unless I try. So here I am, trying new things. But don’t worry, friendos, I will keep you in the loop about what worked, what didn’t, what I learned etc. You know, wholesome fun for the whole family stuff.

This weekend I tried painting with some watercolours and it wasn’t terrible. I grew up painting, but was never especially great at it so I stopped doing it. But a few months ago a friend of mine got me into doing painting nights with her and it was fun. The same friend gave me my own set of watercolours for my birthday a few weeks ago and I thought “heck it, let’s give it a go” and you know, friends, it wasn’t that bad. I had some records on, the sun was out, I found this experience almost meditative.

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I had really written something off because I didn’t feel that I was good at it and that frustrated me. Not that I’m saying I’m a master at it or even that good now, but I found myself just painting to paint not to please anyone or reach any goal and it was nice. It was nice to do something just to do it. Sometimes you’ve just gotta slow down and paint some flowers, you know?

I can’t wait to fill you all in on my next endeavor, so until then with lots of love I remain you fave purple haired princess perfectly poised at her PC penning this for you, my peeps.

Much love as always,

Lea